Tell me if this is you…
You’re super excited about getting engaged, it’s like the honeymoon phase all over. You get to spend the rest of your life with your love, this is the best feeling in the world!
THEN, the realization hits that you have to plan a whole freakin’ wedding by yourself. Well, I mean, technically you have your partner, but how much help are they actually going to be during this process?
You’re the one scouring the internet for wedding planning advice.
So where and when do you start? Maybe you just got engaged yesterday but the “oh-shit” moment hit you early. Maybe you got engaged six months ago but have decided to take it slow. Well, this article is for you! Let's de-stress the wedding game.
1. Think, but don’t overthink.
It’s hard to know exactly what you want out of your wedding day right out the bat. There are thousands of tiny decisions to make & so many styles to choose from. During the beginning stages, Pinterest will be your best friend.
But, during the later stages of planning, after you’ve made crucial decisions like dress, style, decor, florals, etc, it’s best to just give up looking through hours of wedding content. Our brains are wired to feel FOMO and this is especially evident when planning a wedding. You’re almost definitely going to see other wedding inspiration photos before your big day, though being mindful of what you’re feeling when you see certain images should help you move towards being less stressed. Remember that you’ve made each decision for a reason, so stick with it and don’t be ashamed of it!
There are going to be so many dates, vendors, timeslots and scheduling thrown at you so how are you going to handle it? Type-A personalities already know this, but spreadsheets, categorized folders & sub-folders make life SO much easier, especially while planning a wedding. For our business, we use google drive (not sponsored, I wish though lol). It’s just super handy because I can create folders, spreadsheets, upload pdf’s and most importantly, access it on my phone!
3. Give yourself time
Winter is engagement season but that doesn’t mean you have to get married the summer following. In fact, I’d highly recommend not doing that unless you have a good reason to. Most of us feel some sort of time pressure to get our wedding over with. But love doesn’t expire! In fact, giving yourself as much time as possible will make the whole process feel so much less stressful. I’m sure you have a general idea, but some popular vendors can book up years in advance. And don’t even get me started on popular venues during peak season.
A big contribution to stress is wishy-washy decision making. Never allow yourself to get to a point where the only reason you’re making a decision is the lack of time. This will just lead to disappointment and regrets in the future.
4. Gather perspective
It’s easy to wind up feeling filled to the brim with stress. At times, it may feel like the world is ending.
Millions of people have gone through this before you and honestly, as much as it feels like it has to be absolutely perfect, at the end of the day, it’s just a day. It will come and go quickly. What’s going to last is the love shared between yourself and your partner. This is the reason for the celebration in the first place.
Grounding methods like meditation and journalling can be very useful for gaining perspective.
5. Give yourself a break.
Wedding burnout is real!!! -and it sucks because the last thing you want to do is lose all motivation when you really need it.
What I’ve found that works for a lot of people is to plan in intervals. Letting yourself dive in completely to everything wedding-related for 2 weeks and then abstaining from all wedding-activity for 3 weeks. This means no email checking, timelines, phone calls, etc. This is such a powerful tool because it helps solidify your decisions by giving you time to think! It also lets you have a life while planning a wedding.
6. Don’t damage your relationship in the conquest of designing the perfect day
Couples disagree all the time, arguments emerge from those disagreements and then feelings become hurt. Wedding planning is a time where you need to stick together more than ever! You are both busy people balancing essentially two jobs (wedding planning being the second), so be gentle with each other. If you haven’t already visited, I would highly recommend premarital counselling. Getting everything on the table as early as possible and laying out the frameworks for what you’re both seeking in marriage is so powerful. Divorce is real and affects a shockingly high amount of people so it’s always important to emphasize keeping your relationship healthy.
7. Start planning immediately after exiting this article (if you haven’t already)
Now that you have some ideas on how to be stress-free, let’s get planning!
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